Sunday, November 22, 2009

Dr Lee Wei Ling - Better to aim for empathy and compassion

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Nov 13, 2009
KINDNESS DAY
Better to aim for empathy and compassion

MONDAY'S report ('Kindness can blossom, even in Singapore') about the Singapore Kindness Movement suggests Singaporeans are cynical about kindness. I cannot tell whether that is a factual statement or an inaccurate conjecture, as many people know me as Minister Mentor Lee Kuan Yew's daughter and do not behave as they would naturally behave to 'ordinary people'.

To me, more important than social graces, which seem to be the target of the Singapore Kindness Movement, are empathy and compassion. A little brusqueness or inconsiderate behaviour that is a nuisance but causes no serious harm, such as not clearing the tray after you finish eating at a foodcourt, is bad but not terrible.

I do think giving yellow gerbera daisies for acts of 'kindness' is a little hare-brained, though harmless as long as the financial cost is minimal. I think empathy and compassion, where we go out of our way to help the less fortunate, are far more important than being gracious.

I sometimes forget to be gracious, especially if I am in a rush. I am not proud of it, but what I would never condone nor knowingly do is to neglect to help someone who needs help and whom I am able to help. More important than a Kindness Week is to inculcate a life-long principle of compassion and encourage proactive help for those who need it.

No yellow gerbera daisies are needed to reward such acts. The knowledge that we have helped someone is reward enough.

Dr Lee Wei Ling

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